Now Rebecca, what have you got for us on â€˜This Day In Historyâ€™.
Yes Steve, â€¦and on this day in history herstory, as every single atheist, skeptic and freethinker in the world knows, the one and only Rebecca Watson was born in 1980 in a Middle Class, privileged, white burgeoning multicultural and gender-equal community.
Watsonâ€™s awareness of male privilege came early in life. When she and her boyfriend former misogynist jerk of a friend began to change the radial tire on their broken down car, Watson exploded with anger at the presumption that changing a radial tire was a manâ€™s role. The legend has it that Watson lifted the car by herself, in protest against using a â€˜jackâ€™, a mechanical lifting device whose masculine nomenclature degrades women. Watson, as it turned out, was an expert on all things associated with radial tires, and it was from this incident that she discovered her desire to bully â€œcall outâ€ people she saw as promoting alternative opinions misogyny.
Watsonâ€™s first ambition was to become a world-famous Hollywood actress, and as every atheist, skeptic and freethinker knows, she is a brilliant actress. Her audition consisting of a conversation and coffee with an imaginary actor wowed everyone watching. Indeed, one talent agent told her she was the next Katharine Hepburn â€“ she too been an atheist. However, when Watson was waiting outside the talent agentâ€™s office with 3 other gender traitors women, she realised the row of chairs actually constituted a â€œcasting couchâ€, and because the talent agent was a man, it was obviously attempted rape!!! The role that she was applying for â€“ Lady Macbeth â€“ went to one of the other MRA enablers, gender traitors talented young actresses.
Effortlessly, the faultless Miss Watson embarked on her next ambition â€“ as one of skepticismâ€™s most brilliant and forward-thinking minds. Watson initiated the charge in demanding that references to women or their genitals (twatson, cunt, etc) and women in general (babe, chick, etc) were banned. Watson then established her No. 1 Alexa-rated site SkepCHICK. To further her name in the echelons of feminist thinkers, Watson produced a pin-up beautifully artful calendar of female atheists and skeptics in semi-nude thoughtful poses.
Today, Watson is noted as the most brilliant speaker and educator in the atheist, skeptic and freethinker communities, often frustrating informing audiences on the effects of alcohol, and the intricacy of bullying correcting fellow women about the rules and regulations of FreeThoughtBlogs the community. Watson is currently completing her biography of Galileo (to be released on the same day as PZ Myers eagerly awaited book on evolutionary biology the behaviour of baboons), and is in the process of slut-shaming educating a female poster on her site who disagreed with her infallible POV.
Um, erm, Rebeccaâ€¦I donâ€™t think this segment is for you to relate to the audience your brilliant life in the third person.
The THIRD PERSON!!! WHAT??? How dare you relegate a womanâ€™s narration to the third level. How dare you Steve, you stupid privileged male white chauvinist. I mean, who do place at the first level? MEN? Then, let me guess, itâ€™s RICH MEN FROM OXFORD at the second level. You stupid prick ignorant man. Now every single atheist, skeptic and freethinker knows this, especially when I write an article on it called â€˜The Novella Delusionâ€™. Youâ€™d better be careful I donâ€™t ambiguously call for a boycott of your lifeâ€™s work. Every atheist, skeptic and freethinker in the world knows it was ME who created and developed this podcast. It was ME who invented atheism! It was ME who developed the theory of evolution. ME ME ME [the mic goes dead...]
Ahem, um, well, thank you Rebecca for that modest, brief and fascinating â€˜On This Dayâ€™ segment. Now, onto Whatâ€™s That Noisy.