rayshul wrote:ReneeHendricks wrote:So, my guy is out of surgery. He had his lymph nodes removed, the mass removed, and a portion of the back of his tongue removed. Oh, and they STILL won't know for another fucking week if the whole thing is malignant or not. WTF? The doctor said they'd check the mass right away to see if there was an issue. I'm not fucking happy right now.
All the best Renee to you and your guy + family.
I recall a study done on men who HAD DEFINITELY BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, as in, they had been victims and had this situation go before the courts, etc - but when surveyed only 16% of them or so actually reported they had ever been sexually assaulted in their life time. Despite the fact that 100% of them had. Fuck knows where I read it - I've been searching for it with no luck. I would assume that shit plays in a lot to any survey like that. Men just don't think it's sexual assault.
Well, I'm definitely no longer able to catch up, so hopefully all you fuckers forgive me my necro-replies.
But, again: all the best to your mate, Renee.
Hmph, well, I don't know which study you refer to, but to present yet another anecdote, I didn't report. I was legally too young to be out that late, so I opted to not get my naive mother into troubles. My mother still pisses me off, but she did her best to bring me into legal adulthood given her - albeit rather non-existant - abilities. She did what she managed to, and I'm aware that I'm rather lucky, as there are way worse childhoods to be had. But that's another story.
I was stupid enough to maneuver myself into a situation I had no easy way out of, was shocked while it was going on, didn't counter-act due to shock, cause I needed a way to get reasonably close to home, and so, I let it happen. Whatever. even though the incident occured, I'm fine.
It wasn't that bad. I wasn't physically harmed. It was just fucked up. Granted, it took me quite some time to get over it, and I think I am for some time now. Well the most time of my adult life actually? Or maybe not, I still had certain issues for quite some years, and it showed. I missed out on some great relationship opportunities due to that shit. Even though it was a rather minor incident.
I don't consider it rape myself (and legally it wasn't back then, I don't even care if the definition would now fit where I live), no seriously, at most I'd classify it as sexual abuse, or maybe even an evening where one party failed to assert their wishes properly, or was too young and stupid to say 'No'. And that idiot was me.
So, here's the thing why I get so annoyed about victim blaming: I was so stupid to create / get myself into a situation in which I was vulnerable. Totally my fault. Yet, not my fault that I was psychologically scarred due to the actions of someone else. Yep, there's a fucking difference. At least to my feeble mind.
But right now, or for the last year and a half - roughly - I'm more concerned about the rape attempt my gal escaped due to sheer luck (someone walked by as she already had gotten her pants ripped off and the asshole started to try penetration). I'm against any violence, as long as it's not in self defence or to help someone in distress *yada*, but I worry how I'd react if I ever run into the perp/fucker, given that my Mademoiselle points that cunt out to me. Fuck me, but we live in a small town, so there's a certain chance. I don't know what I'd do.
Sometimes I think that this incident contributed to another dent in my gal's robustness. Not that she was having an easy life anyway due to her medical history.