rayshul wrote:I don't understand why anyone would invite him to talk on anything atheism related. His "call to arms" stuff seems more like a crazed preacher. Do weeee have any social justice in the houuuuuuuseeeee!??! REPENT YOUR MISOGYNISTIC WAYYYYYSSS.
*knock knock knock*
Hello there, my name is Gumby, from the Church of the Sisterhood of the Oppressed. Haven't you heard the Good News? May I come into your home and share this story, my sister in Peezus?
All men are infected with Original Sin, which is misogyny.
You see, after the almighty GOD created the Sun, the Earth, the rotation of Earth, then a few days later remembered to throw in day and night, He created this paradisaical garden in which he placed the first two people, Eve and Lilith. Unto them He said "I, the LORD, give this all to you. All is yours, but you are not to surf the Garden's television channels any higher than Channel 70, the Lifetime Network.
Well, we all know the rest of the story. Eve, frustrated by nothing on TV but Lifetime fare like "Tears for my Vagina" and countless episodes of "Woman In Danger", was tempted by a serpent (the New Testament refers to him as "Franc", but there is no mention of this in the earliest texts) to go beyond into the Forbidden Channel Zone. And lo, her eyes were opened, and many strange and titillating things did she see. Playboy Channel. Showtime. HBO.
She went to Lilith, and convinced her to take a look. Upon beholding the wonders of beer commercials and "Baywatch" reruns, her brain became chromosomally damaged (a condition known today as spongiform Ladenitus
). To her horror, an extra appendage grew from between her legs, replacing the hole-y vagina that had so pleased the LORD. Lilith furthermore began sprouting body hair and speaking in a deeper voice, and most horrifyingly of all, Eve developed an longing for Lilith's extra appendage.
Some time later, the all-seeing, omniscient GOD was walking through the Garden, and He couldn't find Eve and Lilith for the life of him. So, after a few hours wandering aimlessly about and yelling "Eve! Lilith! Where art thou!", Eve and Lilith finally appeared, with leaves covering their nether regions. When GOD inquired as to why Lilith's leaf was so much longer than Eve's, they confessed. Enraged, the LORD cast them both out of the garden, saying "For this transgression, Lilith shall now be "Adam" (translation: potential rapist
), a "male". And because this is your fault Eve, I hereby create the Patriarchy, where you are doomed to be oppressed by Adam and those like him. You will make them sandwiches, and bare their children. BEGONE!!!"
And so, Sister Rayshul, it has been thus ever since. We women have been cruelly suppressed by the patriarchy, but due to Eve, ALL are born with the sin of misogyny in our souls. But there is hope! It is my fondest wish that you surrender your heart to the grace and forgiveness of Peezus. Allow Peezus to come unto you! Only then will your misogyny be washed away, and only then will you be born again.
Well, I've taken up enough of your time, dear sister. Please take this copy of "The Way of the AtheismPlus Master" and in it find redemption. God bless you!
*explodes into hundreds of bats that scatter across the darkening sky*
Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.