Well, after a lengthy spell of radio silence, I managed to get in touch with my daughters again. Basically, a friend of a friend let slip that my youngest, always the more level-headed of the pair, has moved in with a "nae user" (Scottish slang for a scumbag), promptly lost her job, severed all ties with the family and has become a social outcast.
Obviously this news did not sit well with me and after wrestling with it for a few days, I released my winged monkeys to track down and obtain contact info.
Got into touch with my eldest first (Victoria) and had a rather emotional conversation on the phone. Not afraid to admit I was bubbling like a big Jessie (Scottish slang for wuss), went from feeling overcome with guilt to bursting with pride at how well she has developed over the years - she's working as assistant manager in a care home (elderly and mental health residents), has a mortgage on a beautiful wee house (first rung of the property ladder) and is getting married next year - they had to postpone this due to work/financial upheaval but are now on track to their dream wedding.
(Victoria on right)
https://scontent.flhr4-2.fna.fbcdn.net/ ... e=5EA9F840
I've been invited to the wedding (again) but won't be going. Too much bad-blood with ex-wife, would only end up car-park-wrestling with her brother(s) and even though I enjoy porridge, I don't fancy a striped suntan.
Anyway, we had a lengthy conversation, lots of old wounds were patched up and we've vowed to maintain regular contact in the future. I also obtained a contact number for daughter #2 (Bethany) and a possible address in a serious shit-hole area of Glasgow.
Phoned her up, rang for eternity, she finally answered. Again, quite an emotional conversation during which she revealed the string of events which led to her current situation. Turns out, my ex-wife has all but disowned her (Victoria hinted at this during our conversation but it didn't "click" at the time) and she has been struggling with mental health issues of her own - something to do with anxiety and minor self-harm (she headbutts walls to "level things out" - her own words) and has been seeing a therapist on-and-off for a couple of years. Even though offered, she's adamant that medication is 100% not an option - I've got no idea if this is a good or bad thing, felt completely out of my depth and helpless as she told me all of this. Suffice to say, I'm now worried sick about my baby daughter, the girl who was titanium-clad and the bane of school bullies (something of an achievement in an Eastend of Glasgow highschool!) has now become this broken and vulnerable person I barely recognize.
Oh, and her other half, even by her own words, sounds like someone I'd quite like to shallow grave. The address I was given was wrong (but in the correct general area) so I'm currently tapping other winged-monkeys to narrow the search down a bit.
I'm now caught between my instincts to protect my child (starting with stomping her BF into the fucking dirt) and standing off, calming down and trying to be more objective about things. I know that I only have two modes of operation - ignore or over-react - so to prevent myself from making things worse, I'll chew my own fist and await further details.
The reason I'm posting this?
You buggers are pretty smart, are 100% more sensible than I am, please advise! I'm stressing out over this and am sick with worry. I know I'll do something I regret and even though I can handle any fallout, I'm terrified I do something retarded and make Bethany worse. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated...
Oh, another pic of my eldest and her fiance...how cute a couple, huh?
https://scontent.flhr4-1.fna.fbcdn.net/ ... e=5EAAC2A4
(No idea who the baby is)